TALESMEN: Manhood in the Mouth (Drama)

Posted: May 1, 2014 in DRAMA, TalesMen
Tags: , ,

by Moses Olarotimi Sheyznote

SCENE 1

(At the palace, King Gbadegeshin; his wife; Iyalode and his council-chiefs are all seated in deliberation. In walks Dongari; a village warrior with some men and Ifedunni; the village harlot)

Dongari: (breathing heavily)
Your Highness we caught her with his manhood in her mouth.

Chiefs: (chorusly)
ah!

King Gbadegeshin: what possibly could his manhood be doing in her mouth?

Chief Otun: (stands)
we should ask the man himself why he allowed his manhood to be in her mouth.

(Chief Otun sits)

Dongari: the problem is that he is deaf and dumb.

Chiefs: (chorusly)
ah!

King Gbadegeshin: If that be the case, then she should be able to tell us what this is all about.
(turns to Ifedunni)

Ifedunni: Your Highness! The act is indescribable by me, I can only show you and then you can describe it

Chief Osi: you mean to say, your want the King to (coughs) emm in your mouth?

Ifedunni: (nods three times)
that’s the best way to explain the act.

Chiefs: (chorusly)
ah!

Iyalode: (in a mocking gesture)
perhaps, Chief Osi can volunteer to have his manhood in her mouth for us to know what this act is all about.

Chief Osi: (shaking his head)
and what face will I wear before your eyes? What will I tell my wife at home, that my manhood has find succour in another woman’s hole,
(spits on the ground)
ridiculously not the one between the legs but in the head.

(Ifedunni kneels before the king)

Ifedunni: Your Highness! If you allow me, you won’t regret it. There is nothing sweeter in experience than have your manhood in a woman’s mouth.

Chief Otun: (stands quickly)
shut up your mouth! That’s total rubbish, very immoral.
(pointing to the area where his manhood is)
Our manhood is meant for only the haven between our woman’s thigh and not the mouth.

(Chief Otun remains standing)

(Dongari comes closer to the throne)

Dongari: Your Highness! If permitted, I’ll volunteer mine to the experiment, to confirm the act of this wild woman.

King Gbadegesin: (pointing at Ifedunni)
Is this woman married to any man?

Iyalode: (shakes head)
She is an harlot, her body is for any man with cowries enough to pay for it.

Chiefs: (chorusly)
ah!

King Gbadegesin: (Nodding head and smiling)
as the ruler of this Kingdom, is it not my obligation to protect my people especially from unknown events?
(Stands up)
How is this any different, I’ll volunteer to confirm this act.

Chiefs: (chorusly)
ah!
(All falls flat to the ground including Chief Otun)
(Chief Otun stands up and sounding shocked)

Chief Otun:impossible Your highness, we don’t know what this act is all about and what this woman have in plan.
(at the other chiefs)
We cannot subject our King to an unknown fate.

(Silence…slowly the other chiefs find their seats)
(The Chief whisper among themselves in deliberation)
(Chief Osi clears throat)

Chief Osi: exactly! Appoint any of us to do it, or better still, let’s permit Dongari to perform the unknown act with her.

(A Long Silence…curtain falls)

SCENE 2

(Night. At Chief Otun’s house. Chief Otun is on the bamboo bed with his wife)
(Chief Otun sits up on the bed and turn to his wife)

Chief Otun: Ashake, you won’t believe what happen at the palace today o
(hiss).

(Ashake throws the blanket over herself)

Ashake: Not again this night, whatever it was that happen is none of my business. Spare me the tale and let me rest.
(turn her back at him)

(Chief Otun reaches for her…and in a teasing tone)

Chief Otun: What do you think of it if I ask you to put my manhood in your mouth?

Ashake: (jump out of bed putting her hand over her mouth in fear)
Ah! What ridiculous thing is that?

Chief Otun: (points at his wife)
O ho! Thought you don’t want to hear my story, hmmm?

Ashake: (knots her wrapper tightly…and sits beside her husband)
who did such shameful thing happen to?

Chief Otun: Shameful?! Ehn! She was really so confident about the act o. She kept telling us she cannot describe it except someone volunteer his manhood for the experiment.

Ashake: (claps her hands several times)
I have never heard of such act before, not when we have men like you who don’t even cut the forest between their legs, many won’t even bath for days.
(squeeze face)
Disgusting!

Chief Otun: (stands up and un-tie his wrapper exposing his manhood before his wife)
O ho! You can’t put it in your mouth but you can beg us to deep it into that eternal darkness, that slippery hole that falls all men?
(sits back on the bed)
Ehn! Women like Ifedunni should be applauded for going extra miles to please a man.

Ashake: Awu! You mean that harlot was the one who put your manhood in her mouth?
(Draw closer to him)

Chief Otun: (sounds angry)
watch your mouth woman! I never said I was the one who volunteered, it was a deaf and dumb man she was caught with, and when she cannot describe it, the King…

Ashake: (eyes wide open)
Ah, The King!

(pull her to himself and cover her mouth with his hand and in a low tone)

Chief Otun: You better not get yourself in trouble, did I said the King did anything?

(Ashake brushes his hand away from her mouth and in a low tone)

Ashake: Who then was the sacrificial lamb for her festival of shameful act?

Chief Otun: We heard deep groans and moans behind the veil, and then the terrifying moment of, ‘it’s coming! It’s coming’, and then-
(sigh)
He ran out naked unknowingly, sweating profusely, Iyalode could not stand the sight, she took off immediately.
(laugh sarcastically and falls on his wife but soon stop with caution).

(Ashake pushes him away)

Ashake: Since you’ve tactically refused to unveil the mystery man who volunteered, and I hope it was not you?
(raise brow)
Was he able to describe the act?

Chief Otun: (shaking his head)
That was the most sober part of it all, he could not describe the act, he was lost for words, he just sat there looking like a dead tree.
(stands up and stretched himself like a dead wood)
And this made me to make up my mind that I am going to perform same act with you.
(sits back on the bed and puts his arms around his wife)
I want to see how it feels to have a manhood in a woman’s mouth.

(Ashake pushes him off)

Ashake: Did I hear you well?
(Stands to her feet)

(Chief Otun stands up too)
Chief Otun: Yes! You clearly heard me.
(Holds his manhood in his hand)
As your husband, I am asking you to put my manhood in your mouth, I must confirm what this indescribable act is all about.

Ashake: (in a high tone)
You must be joking!

(A sudden shout from nearby, and then follow by a bang on their door)

Iya Pelumi: (out of breathe)
Chief! Chief!! Ashake! Help ooooo, my husband has gone mad tonight.
(Iya Pelumi continues to bang the door)

Chief Otun: that’s Iya Pelumi’s voice
(run to open the door, Ashake follows behind…Iya Pelumi runs inside)

Chief Otun: (startled)
Woman why the cry at this hour of the night, who or what is after you, And why speak of madness?

Iya Pelumi: (panting) Your friend has gone mad tonight!
(Fidgets about)

Chief Otun & Ashake: (chorus)
Ah!

Iya Pelumi: Chief Osi; your friend insisted he want his manhood in my mouth just as we were about to sleep for the night.

(Ashake and Chief Otun look at each other in surprise. Chief Osi emerges from a corner out of breathe)

Ashake: (hands akimbo)
What in the gods name is wrong with all our men tonight? Why this sudden sick appetite of having their manhood in our mouth?

(Iya Pelumi was shock, look at Chief Otun)

Iya Pelumi: (Speaking to Ashake)
He asked you for same thing?

Chief Osi: (surprised…and speaking to Chief Otun)
Ah! Even you?

Chief Otun: What’s ah?
(Spreads his two hands)
Am I not better than a Chief who chase his wife down the road in the night crying for the indescribable act like a starved dog?
(Chuckles)

Chief Osi: And when did our wives also start refusing the words of their husbands, did we not pay their price to do our biddings?

Ashake: (at Chief Osi)
You should be ashame of yourself!

Iya Pelumi: (pointing at the area of Chief Osi manhood)
He does not shave, that place looks scary?

Ashake: (laugh..and points at her husband)
they are all the same.

Chief Osi: (looks at his wife with disdain)
That’s not the news of the moment. If you won’t allow me, I’ll go pay the harlot to do the indescribable with me

Chief Otun: As stupid as that suggestion can be, I concur
(move closer to his friend)

Ashake & Iya Pelumi: (chorus)
Ah!

Iya Pelumi: Has it come to that?

Chief Otun: They say nothing is sweeter to a man compare to the act.
(At Chief Osi)
Since our wives won’t, then we have no choice than to go pay to satisfy our curiosity with whoever will

Chief Osi: We just want to know what this indescribable act is all about, that even after the act our King could not describe it.
(cover his own mouth in shock)

Iya Pelumi & Ashake: (chorus)
Ah! The King!

(Long Silence….they all stand there staring at each other)

…………………………THE END…………………

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Comments
  1. timnwaobilo says:

    Kai. Moses! Moses! ! Moses! !!

  2. Ezeamalukwuo says:

    Lwkmd4h…kai Moses! Kai Kai…this is humourously humour-filled..I no fit laugh small close mouth.

    This is very very good…a fun-filled drama that exposes the hypocrisy of the entire council…the king used idea to get a taste of the fruit..now his cabinet members must try in secret too to get that as well. But Chief Otun’s own worst pass…see as he was rebuking every every, casting and binding Ifedunni…now he won collect small from his wife….yeye man..(He smiles).

    Brilliant job…I love this work profoundly.

  3. LegendaryCJN says:

    HmMmmmmmm!
    I couldn’t stop laughing…humour personified.
    Then we talk of the hypocrisy of the cabinet members who ‘rejected the eating of rat, but wants to use their mouth and share it for children’.
    Nice one Mo

  4. LegendaryCJN says:

    Lest I forget, this work should be rated +18, maka ndu!

  5. Sheyzznote says:

    Hehehehehehehe….am reading this too and I really can’t stop laughing too, this is really so interesting.

    But wait a minute, why is everyone not seeing the message buried beneath the play, aside the humour and epic yoruba set up, there is a moral, a deep message

    I’ll share it with Mr. Charles and perhaps might share it with the house, you will be so shock at what message can be hidden in such humour

    Thank you all for reading, watch out for more from #Talesmen

  6. mates89@yahoo.com says:

    Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

  7. Moses opara says:

    This is humorous. Hehehehe. Name sake you killed it.

  8. david culkins says:

    Excellent write up!!!!!!

  9. Anene Francis says:

    Who be this way wan corrupt me na? I second CJN o lol… All na creativity sha. See how accusation turned around to be advertisement. Get the head, the whole village is doomed. Chai!. “Curiosity kills the cat” they say… Mr Moses has got talent.

  10. Oyin Oludipe says:

    What a dais! You’ve done well with the travesty, Comrade. In rhymes, plot and words. Good work

  11. dave says:

    pls wait, am still laughing. hahahaha
    so hilarious and humour-filled. Moses you are witty!

  12. Moses opara says:

    My namesake is just the bomb.

  13. talesmen says:

    Chai! this drama wont stop getting the 32 white knight in my round kingdom from ever shinning. Manhood in the mouth. perhaps, the writer should work on a continuity, we hope to read such humour again on this wall. Nice work!

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